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Published April 27th, 2026
I’ll close my eyes for just a few
I’ve set not one alarm but two
And yet, I wake with sheets askew
Again, it seems, I have slept through
I think giving into the need for a nap is mature self-care. An area I would benefit from, though, is not pushing the responsibility of myself waking-back-up to a version of me that’s not just tired, but clearly asleep. I had this thought today, when, again my 36 minute timer and its associates did their job, but sleeping me didn’t do mine.
“I’ll wake up soon and do some chores and watch some TV. 30 minutes or so should do it.” Jesse, Tired, 4 PM.
“Noise. Snooze. Time go fast. I go sleep. Sleep feel good.” Jesse, Blindfolded, CPAP’d, actively dreaming with no intention to stop, 4:30 PM.
“oh god what - the whole eve is gone. Must have been that tired.” Jesse, Awake, 7 PM
I’m not apologizing for needing sleep. Self-flagellation over bodily needs doesn’t do any good and there’s no sleep IRS checking in on my extra hours here and there.
But I enjoy the thought that somewhere in me a Jekyll-and-Hyde-like dichotomy exists where I’m writing a check that I will obviously be unwilling to cash in 30 minutes.